Writing the post below, and making the comment that no complaints were necessary because issues, problems and queries were sorted out made me think about the definition of  "a complaint", and when an issue, problem or query becomes a complaint. My favourite definition of a complaint is - "an expression of dissatisfaction about the standard of goods/services provided by or on behalf of an organisation." A deceptively simple definition, but I like it because it seems to me to cover all the essentials. Firstly something has to be "expressed" in order to be a complaint - you have to KNOW that someone is not happy about something. But importantly, it doesn't have to be expressed in any particular form - one of my pet hates is organisations that only treat something as "a complaint" if it is in writing ! Secondly, to be a complaint, it just has to be "dissatisfaction" - my second pet hate is organisations that don't treat anything as a complaint unless you specifically say  "I am COMPLAINING...". Thirdly,  to be a complaint it has to be ABOUT something - it's really not enough for a customer to just be generally unhappy. Next, its not just the actual product you provide which can make your customers happy or unhappy - you can have great products but still make your customer unhappy because your customer service is poor. Finally, never forget that to your customer it hardly matters if, for example, you use another company to deliver goods. If I order from you, and my goods don't arrive, I don't really care whether its your fault or the fault of the company you pay to deliver my goods. I want what I have ordered and paid for, and I want YOU to sort it out, not expect me to chase from pillar to post. I'd love to hear thoughts about this definition, and any suggestions for improvements or alternative definitions !

I've just come back from a business stay at the Park Inn on the outskirts of Doncaster. How nice to be able to blog again about really GOOD customer service ! I would like to say the staff were also really great at resolving complaints, but they were so helpful and obliging that complaints weren't necessary. Yes there were problems and issues and queries, but as soon as they were mentioned they were sorted, with a smile and a willing and helpful attitude. Although far from being the greatest location or the nicest hotel I have ever stayed at, nothing was too much trouble for the staff. They all seemed to genuinely enjoy their work, and enjoy working with people. They all worked their socks off, and worked long days too, but always had a smile and a friendly word. So this week's funky tip is - it doesn't necessarily matter if the actual product or service you are providing isn't the best in the world, you can still have very satisfied customers if you
treat them with consideration, courtesy and flexibility.

For reasons too complicated to go into here, I found myself in darkest rural Suffolk recently, in desperate need of food and drink. Luckily I stumbled upon The Sorrel Horse in Shottisham near Woodbridge http://www.thesorrelhorse-shottisham.co.uk/ - interestingly a community owned pub. The barman could teach us all a thing or two about good customer service. Afterwards, happily full of good food and slightly tiddly on white wine, I wondered why he/it was so good...  I decided that it was because he was a nice bloke who clearly enjoyed his job and liked meeting people. But what was the MASSIVE difference between what he did and what the bloke at the tiny cook did the week before ? Yes the food, the surroundings and the resident cat were clearly superior at the Sorrel Horse, but the tiny cook could also have been great with a few tweaks. So...the winner is - big welcoming smile on arrival, eye contact, genuine "how are you" type conversation like he really was bothered, two way conversation but not weirdly pushy or obsessive, quietly efficient service noticing when you might need something and popping over to ask, keeping us informed "I'll just go and get your...", and most of all just being confident enough to let his personality shine through rather than putting on that odd false nasal sing song "now I'm talking to a customer" voice that so many staff seem to think is endearing or appropriate or somehow remotely the way in which any person older than 3 might want to be spoken to. Now you're going tell me all this is easy. And I'm going to ask you if its so goddamn easy why do so few people do it ?????

I spent yesterday in the large hospital in Cambridge having treatment under general anaesthetic. I was amazed at the variety of "customer care" on offer from the various professionals I was in contact with. Good, bad, and indifferent in the space of just over 12 hours. Some of the good - the nurse who admitted me and explained what she was going to do and why before doing it; the theatre nurse who recognised I was scared because I stopped making eye contact with her, and upped her care and attention accordingly; the anaesthetist who joked "Here comes the gin and tonic" as he injected me; the nurse in recovery who explained they were worried about my heart rate and why and what they were going to do. Some of the bad - the nurse who crept up on me and stuck a thermometer in my ear without asking my permission, explaining what it was, or even telling me she was going to do it, and then walked away without once speaking to me; the nurse who clearly had "favourites" on the ward even though we were all similar day surgery cases and gave different care (and food !) accordingly.

After having been starved for my anaesthetic and only given toast and jam after it, we stopped on the way home at a roadside eaterie where all the cooks are very small. Message for the serving staff - if you can't manage to bring me a hot toasted sandwich and a cooked bowl of chips together at the same time, it costs nothing to say "Here is your toastie, your chips will be along in a minute" rather than just dumping it down and walking off, leaving me to wonder whether I had ordered chips at all, or if they had misheard or had forgotten...

So today's funky tip must be - tell your customer what is happening and why, even if it may not be what they want to hear. It makes the experience so much better for them, and often saves them needing to raise a query - or make a complaint.

OK here goes - the first FR rant ! Last week I was staying for business in a London hotel...a "palatial" hotel on the Strand... I arrived just before 6pm, and queued for 15 minutes to check in. A hotel employee came up to us poor suckers at the end of the lengthy queue, and I thought, good someone is here to apologise or perhaps to suggest some of us go to another receptionist or have a free drink in the bar while we wait... But no, the lovely Claudia had just come to abruptly order us to queue in a slightly different place, which of course we all obediently did. No "I'm very sorry for your wait, but would you mind please moving over here so that you don't block the entrance to the restaurant ? Thank you very much". Had she said something like that I might still have been a bit grumpy, but it wouldn't have stuck in my mind such that I blogged it a week later ! My grandma, all our grandparents I expect, knew that basic good manners cost nothing, but make all the difference to how others experience us. So this week's "top tip" is - it takes no more breath or calories or time or effort to say something polite than it does to say something rude.

I decided to start this blog because I have worked for over 25 years in customer services and complaints roles, and despite what people will have you believe, IT ISN'T DIFFICULT ! Perhaps I'm just getting old and grumpy, but I found I was getting more and more annoyed in my everyday life by companies and their staff who just didn't bother to get it right. I thought I'd start this blog and let off some steam about poor customer service that I have come across, but also hopefully some good examples too. And I'll be giving my "tops tips" about how to treat customers well and how to deal with complaints effectively.